People throw around the word commitment. But what exactly are you committed to? Today I’m pondering relationship commitment. Some people are committed to the institution of marriage, till death do us part. If you dig deeper what does that mean? For some that means they keep the marriage at all costs, whether they are happy or not. Are you committed to keeping the relationship good, fulfilling, and fun? I used to think I was committed to the relationship.
Now I understand, as an intimacy fanatic, it’s the person I’m committed to. I’m committed to me and to the people I’m in relationships with. Now I’m not talking about everyone. I’m talking about my children and my beloved.
What that means to me is looking for each individuals needs, values, hopes and dreams, and the commitment is to help each other realize those and share life along the path.
Sharing in awareness and reflection of each persons truth as it changes and unfolds is intimacy. I’m don’t believe people need to break up, split up or divorce, if the commitment is to more than the relationship. To me real commitment is even deeper then that. It’s really committing to all of life with each other, finding win wins, being flexible, cultivating new skills as needed, participating in each other’s joys and sorrows, sharing understanding and empathy, giving space, co-creation and finding solutions and resolutions together.
The unfortunate part is that I have not found many people out there with this level of commitment. I know that the parents reading this who commit this way to their kids get it. So I wanna know, have you committed this way in love?