We are all attached;
the Buddha says attachment is the cause of suffering. In 12 steps programs we say expectations are resentments waiting to happen. I’ve heard religious people say if you want to make God laugh tell him your plan. As painful as it is we cannot control others, our lives, or the outcome of certain situations.
We can, one moment at a time, show up whole heartedly, doing our best in each given moment.
How often do we judge another or ourselves, saying they should be different, or we should have known better? Judging is actually condemning another or ourselves. Now believe me, I’m not preaching, I’m as critical and judgmental as the next human. What I have experienced is that my judgement comes from non-acceptance of the current reality. I think it “should be some other way”- which usually stems from fear. Fear creeps up when I’m afraid of losing something I have or fear not getting something I want. Action driven by fear hurts ourselves and others.
It has been my experience, when allowance happens, when acceptance is felt, when love is present, that we can take the next right action and leave the outcome to the spirit of the universe. We can control how we act or react, but sometimes even that is not within our control. So hold empathy and compassion for yourself and others as you get through being human. The lighter you hold it the more serenity, the more peace, the more allowance. You can’t push the river, but you can jump in and flow down to new shores. It’s hard to stay open in the face of fear, but when did being contracted, constricted, or frozen ever bring growth? We must face fear: face/everything/and/reveal. From complete vulnerability comes strength, from utter powerlessness comes true power, from surrender comes peace. It’s power verses force. True strength and courage comes from setting a course, course correcting along the way, letting go, showing up the best way you can, and trusting the results to the divine.